Yes, it's certainly a choice. Vash and I discussed whether we thought it was part of the fish or clothes - it was a rather silly topic.
[A beat, a munch and-]
However, the more I thought about it, the more intriguing the idea became. Could it be that the hats have been invisible the whole time? How can we know for sure? It sounds outlandish, frankly, but there's a concept by a philosopher named Descartes called 'The Method of Doubt'.
[The food's good - he's mad. Half is always saved for Vash, but he's chowing down on his portion pretty quick. Maybe he gets only a quarter today.]
To simplify greatly, to find true knowledge, you must doubt all things you've confirmed as real. I find it fascinating to consider the possibility. Imagine if people here choked to death on small top hats instead of forgotten fish bones. We would never know.
But that doesn't make any sense. There's no reason to doubt things you've confirmed as real. These fish haven't always been falling from the sky, but people fish them out of the lake all the time, and they don't have...[He gestures with his fork to one of the floppy little bastards a few feet away.]...fucking. Hats on.
I'm in agreement with you, to an extent. Taking it literally isn't the point - it's the exercise of making yourself aware of falsehoods around you, even if you're adamant that what you see is the truth.
[There's a quarter of his meal left, placed to the side and covered up.]
It's a warning that true knowledge and truth requires you to take degree of caution to what you've been told and what you believe is absolute. That's the part I find exciting to consider.
[Their similarities are jarring - ideals and values bathed in crimson. No matter how much he wants to deny it. No matter how much he would, if it were voiced.]
Of course. A fish is meaningless, whether it wears a hat or not or exists in your perceived reality. [It's still bizarre to witness them fly to the ground in a torrential downpour.] It was only a way to convey the method using a topic in front of our eyes in the moment.
[Eren's brow is furrowed with focus. He watches the rain, thunder rumbling threateningly in the distance (what happens in a fish storm, anyway?).]
I've been here a lot longer than you. Myself and others have spent an awful lot of time trying to learn what we can. After everything last month, I think we're back to square one. Everything we did perceive as true could be completely wrong. We thought we were onto something, but we were fooled.
Detectives often run into the issue you're describing. All mysteries are as multifaceted as the people involved in them. An answer is never immediate or clear cut.
[An elbow rests on his knee, face cupped by an open palm.]
If finding the truth means starting over again, then you do it as many times as it takes. Faltering and accepting lies as answers aren't options.
One day, justice will be given to those that fought for it and served to those who shunned it.
[Well, Akechi's methods seem awfully humane, don't they? Just keep trying until the truth comes out; then, if the truth is too ugly to bear, you bring in someone like Eren - is that it? Eren's expression looks tight, focused. He doesn't think that way about this place yet, but he can't not think about his circumstances back home when Akechi talks like that...]
[Want and will are different statements. The level of dedication to the cause strained between them in silence and lies. Eren wants freedom to choose. Akechi doesn't care what carnage is left behind.]
It would have to be our shared goal. A right to decide.
[Choose to live life as a puppet or return to a cruel, unjust world. There is no solace in either decision for most here.]
Everyone wins when everyone gets to choose. Wouldn't you agree?
Hm. [A soft sound of acknowledgement; he's really listening, and really thinking about it too. That's why it takes a few moments for Eren to respond.]
Having the right to dictate our lives here, and choose whether we come and go...I guess that would be close to justice.
[And that's that, right? Eren wants to say that he doesn't believe in justice anymore, but if he doesn't believe in justice, does that mean he doesn't believe they can take back control? Not without destruction, maybe...
[Justice pierces through his chest like a white-hot dagger. Another lie fed, a notch in their 'friendship' solidified for the time being.
A voice dripping with confidence - Akechi matched it earlier. He doesn't now.
The only thing that matters is their relationship stays reliable and steady - he doesn't need a volatile asshole trying to upend him at every turn. He'll say whatever Eren wants to hear.]
Of course we will.
[Solid. Steady. He doesn't give a shit at all.]
It doesn't look like the fish will let up anytime soon. [Soft. A beat. Quiet. It's not his home at all, but-] Do you want to come in and wait it out? There isn't much to do outside of reading books I borrowed from the library. You'll have to find a way entertain yourself if they don't suit your interests.
[His own over-half eaten meal swept into his hands, he leads Eren inside the massive castle. The little thumps of fish hitting the walls and windows in between violent bursts of rain.]
It's a common hobby regardless and one of my favorites to indulge in. A library existing in a place like this with the variety it offers - it's fortunate for all of us. I'm never lacking new things to read.
I've spent some time there too, believe it or not. The books are all mixed up, but if you can find what you're looking for, I guess it's helpful enough.
[Eren takes a look around the castle, raising a brow, not unjudgmental, but...he knows that Dreamers in this world are all more or less equal. Whoever bought this place just likes to spend their shards, he supposes.]
That friend is from my world. His name is Armin.
You'd probably like him. He's the smartest person I know.
The words are said with a bizarre level of sincerity - Akechi unsure whether the correct response is express hope for their arrival or not. The world Eren comes from is cruel and unrelenting. Armin, assumedly, is a part of the 20% allowed to live in that horrible reality in the future.]
Is that so?
[He could care less.]
I'm curious - would you mind telling me about him?
[Eren feels no reason to shy away from talking about Armin. It isn't a matter of trust; he doesn't worry what Akechi might do with the information.
[Fuck. He'd be shouting it from the rooftops if he could. He'll never shy away from loving Armin; he saw enough of that in his future.]
Armin Arlert. He's my best friend. We've known each other since we were just kids. Me, him, and Mikasa grew up doing everything together. [Laughing, playing, sharing secrets - grieving, fearing, training, growing, shrinking, crumbling, rotting--]
Like I said, he's smart, but not just the average kind. He's a strategist. [...] He's the reason that ocean I showed you didn't reach every shore, he's--
He's the bravest person I've ever known.
[There's a pause. Eren clears his throat. He's emotional. It's obvious.
[That, he hadn't meant to share with Akechi at all.]
[It's a disgusting display of sentimentality - one he asked for and can't be too upset by.
Every so often, there's a reminder that Eren isn't an apathetic or dulled by war. He's emotional. Irrational. Blunt and furious in his expressions of others, to others, because of others.
Nothing on Akechi's face gives way to that judgement. His body poised neutral and attentive.]
He sounds clever. That ocean was nothing to trifle at - to stand in the face of it would certainly be an act of bravery most would never understand.
Thank you for sharing and-
[He might never see this guy again. The odds aren't in his favor.]
[Eren takes it as sincere. That's the danger, isn't it? You see one real glimpse of someone, and suddenly you start believing what they tell you. Akechi and he really could be friends, he thinks. Armin would probably like him a lot, and get him to smile too - a real one, and not the kind that comes from slitting some beast's throat.
[Yeah. Eren's pretty certain of that.]
What's your best friend like? [Everyone's got one, right? Even Akechi, surely.]
[It's so goddamn typical. The wrong questions at worse times - a principle that only exists in the vicinity of Eren and the ever increasing orbit he maintains. What's your best friend like? - the most innocuous, stupid question in the world.
He laughs - dim and oppressive. Choking under the weight of-
Glasses clinking on a coffee bar with a newly set chessboard next to his glass and-
Handcuffs slamming against a dulled metal table - viscera and blood pooling and pouring and slinking down into a-
For a moment, he's dizzy. Then he's not. Nausea hits, and it doesn't. A dull throb appears, then vanishes. It goes away because it has to. He smiles because he has to. It's a choice he made because he had to.]
My apologies - I got lost in thought for a moment.
[His fingers curl around a counter he doesn't remember moving towards - a knuckle white grip under gloved hands.]
I've said this before, but I have difficulty making friends. That wasn't ever a lie. Anyone I've interacted with - it's a stretch to call them a friend, let alone a best friend.
[It curls against his chest in dizzying waves - ones that don't matter. This doesn't matter. Nothing about Joker ever mattered.]
There was someone I enjoyed quite a bit. Our relationship was-
[A lie, like this one. Like the next one. Like all the ones to follow.]
Pleasant.
[A beat, and-]
Sorry, I think I ate too fast and have a rather intense headache suddenly. You're welcome to lounge around the shared room until the storm lifts, but I need a moment.
[It's grief. All of it. Akechi is a liar, and now, Eren understands why. He knows that voice. He knows this pain. He's felt it a hundred times; he's caused it millions of times...
[Somehow, he'd never considered that Akechi was in pain.
[Stupid. He'll never let him feel alone again.
[And he doesn't leave. No one else seems to come home while he sits in the shared space, waiting. Just waiting. Just in case.]
[To his credit, he does lay down - all nausea and throbbing pain in his temple ebbing after a few minutes of blissful silence. He waits until the rain stops to leave his room with the knowledge that Eren likely wandered out at the first available opportunity. There's nothing to do outside of talk and eat - one of those options pulled away the second he left the room.
Imagine the fucking jumpscare he gets when he sees Eren still there, on the couch, waiting - for what?]
Did something happen? I assumed you would be gone by now.
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[A beat, a munch and-]
However, the more I thought about it, the more intriguing the idea became. Could it be that the hats have been invisible the whole time? How can we know for sure? It sounds outlandish, frankly, but there's a concept by a philosopher named Descartes called 'The Method of Doubt'.
[The food's good - he's mad. Half is always saved for Vash, but he's chowing down on his portion pretty quick. Maybe he gets only a quarter today.]
To simplify greatly, to find true knowledge, you must doubt all things you've confirmed as real. I find it fascinating to consider the possibility. Imagine if people here choked to death on small top hats instead of forgotten fish bones. We would never know.
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Come on.
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[There's a quarter of his meal left, placed to the side and covered up.]
It's a warning that true knowledge and truth requires you to take degree of caution to what you've been told and what you believe is absolute. That's the part I find exciting to consider.
no subject
No, you're right about that...
I get it now.
[After all - over and over and over again - everything Eren ever knew ended up being wrong, didn't it? All but what he could control personally.]
Something like a fish having a hat is a little different than trying to figure out if something or someone is really what people think they are...
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[Their similarities are jarring - ideals and values bathed in crimson. No matter how much he wants to deny it. No matter how much he would, if it were voiced.]
Of course. A fish is meaningless, whether it wears a hat or not or exists in your perceived reality. [It's still bizarre to witness them fly to the ground in a torrential downpour.] It was only a way to convey the method using a topic in front of our eyes in the moment.
no subject
[Eren's brow is furrowed with focus. He watches the rain, thunder rumbling threateningly in the distance (what happens in a fish storm, anyway?).]
I've been here a lot longer than you. Myself and others have spent an awful lot of time trying to learn what we can. After everything last month, I think we're back to square one. Everything we did perceive as true could be completely wrong. We thought we were onto something, but we were fooled.
no subject
Detectives often run into the issue you're describing. All mysteries are as multifaceted as the people involved in them. An answer is never immediate or clear cut.
[An elbow rests on his knee, face cupped by an open palm.]
If finding the truth means starting over again, then you do it as many times as it takes. Faltering and accepting lies as answers aren't options.
One day, justice will be given to those that fought for it and served to those who shunned it.
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yet, but he can't not think about his circumstances back home when Akechi talks like that...]Justice...
You really think that kind of thing is real?
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[An answer immediate - no weight, no barbed tone. He believes it.
He doesn't and does.
Doesn't and must.
Doesn't and will.
Doesn't and has to.]
I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it.
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What's it look like, then?
What does it look like when everyone wins?
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[Want and will are different statements. The level of dedication to the cause strained between them in silence and lies. Eren wants freedom to choose. Akechi doesn't care what carnage is left behind.]
It would have to be our shared goal. A right to decide.
[Choose to live life as a puppet or return to a cruel, unjust world. There is no solace in either decision for most here.]
Everyone wins when everyone gets to choose. Wouldn't you agree?
no subject
Having the right to dictate our lives here, and choose whether we come and go...I guess that would be close to justice.
[And that's that, right? Eren wants to say that he doesn't believe in justice anymore, but if he doesn't believe in justice, does that mean he doesn't believe they can take back control? Not without destruction, maybe...
[Eren said he'd never go down that path again.]
We have to find a way. We will...
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A voice dripping with confidence - Akechi matched it earlier. He doesn't now.
The only thing that matters is their relationship stays reliable and steady - he doesn't need a volatile asshole trying to upend him at every turn. He'll say whatever Eren wants to hear.]
Of course we will.
[Solid. Steady. He doesn't give a shit at all.]
It doesn't look like the fish will let up anytime soon. [Soft. A beat. Quiet. It's not his home at all, but-] Do you want to come in and wait it out? There isn't much to do outside of reading books I borrowed from the library. You'll have to find a way entertain yourself if they don't suit your interests.
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[He pushes himself up to stand and stretches with his arms up over his head; collects the food containers.]
You're some big reader, huh? I have another friend like that.
We can find something to do.
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[His own over-half eaten meal swept into his hands, he leads Eren inside the massive castle. The little thumps of fish hitting the walls and windows in between violent bursts of rain.]
It's a common hobby regardless and one of my favorites to indulge in. A library existing in a place like this with the variety it offers - it's fortunate for all of us. I'm never lacking new things to read.
no subject
[Eren takes a look around the castle, raising a brow, not unjudgmental, but...he knows that Dreamers in this world are all more or less equal. Whoever bought this place just likes to spend their shards, he supposes.]
That friend is from my world. His name is Armin.
You'd probably like him. He's the smartest person I know.
no subject
The words are said with a bizarre level of sincerity - Akechi unsure whether the correct response is express hope for their arrival or not. The world Eren comes from is cruel and unrelenting. Armin, assumedly, is a part of the 20% allowed to live in that horrible reality in the future.]
Is that so?
[He could care less.]
I'm curious - would you mind telling me about him?
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Yeah, sure. What do you wanna know?
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[A pause, and-]
Sometimes it's nice to talk about old friends.
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[Fuck. He'd be shouting it from the rooftops if he could. He'll never shy away from loving Armin; he saw enough of that in his future.]
Armin Arlert. He's my best friend. We've known each other since we were just kids. Me, him, and Mikasa grew up doing everything together. [Laughing, playing, sharing secrets - grieving, fearing, training, growing, shrinking, crumbling, rotting--]
Like I said, he's smart, but not just the average kind. He's a strategist. [...] He's the reason that ocean I showed you didn't reach every shore, he's--
He's the bravest person I've ever known.
[There's a pause. Eren clears his throat. He's emotional. It's obvious.
[That, he hadn't meant to share with Akechi at all.]
Miss him like fuck.
It's alright, though. I'll see him again.
no subject
Every so often, there's a reminder that Eren isn't an apathetic or dulled by war. He's emotional. Irrational. Blunt and furious in his expressions of others, to others, because of others.
Nothing on Akechi's face gives way to that judgement. His body poised neutral and attentive.]
He sounds clever. That ocean was nothing to trifle at - to stand in the face of it would certainly be an act of bravery most would never understand.
Thank you for sharing and-
[He might never see this guy again. The odds aren't in his favor.]
I'm sure you will.
no subject
[Eren takes it as sincere. That's the danger, isn't it? You see one real glimpse of someone, and suddenly you start believing what they tell you. Akechi and he really could be friends, he thinks. Armin would probably like him a lot, and get him to smile too - a real one, and not the kind that comes from slitting some beast's throat.
[Yeah. Eren's pretty certain of that.]
What's your best friend like? [Everyone's got one, right? Even Akechi, surely.]
cw: murder, gore i got out of bed for this shit
He laughs - dim and oppressive. Choking under the weight of-
Glasses clinking on a coffee bar with a newly set chessboard next to his glass and-
Handcuffs slamming against a dulled metal table - viscera and blood pooling and pouring and slinking down into a-
For a moment, he's dizzy. Then he's not. Nausea hits, and it doesn't. A dull throb appears, then vanishes. It goes away because it has to. He smiles because he has to. It's a choice he made because he had to.]
My apologies - I got lost in thought for a moment.
[His fingers curl around a counter he doesn't remember moving towards - a knuckle white grip under gloved hands.]
I've said this before, but I have difficulty making friends. That wasn't ever a lie. Anyone I've interacted with - it's a stretch to call them a friend, let alone a best friend.
[It curls against his chest in dizzying waves - ones that don't matter. This doesn't matter. Nothing about Joker ever mattered.]
There was someone I enjoyed quite a bit. Our relationship was-
[A lie, like this one. Like the next one. Like all the ones to follow.]
Pleasant.
[A beat, and-]
Sorry, I think I ate too fast and have a rather intense headache suddenly. You're welcome to lounge around the shared room until the storm lifts, but I need a moment.
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[Eren has no response. He lets Akechi go.
[It's grief. All of it. Akechi is a liar, and now, Eren understands why. He knows that voice. He knows this pain. He's felt it a hundred times; he's caused it millions of times...
[Somehow, he'd never considered that Akechi was in pain.
[Stupid. He'll never let him feel alone again.
[And he doesn't leave. No one else seems to come home while he sits in the shared space, waiting. Just waiting. Just in case.]
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Imagine the fucking jumpscare he gets when he sees Eren still there, on the couch, waiting - for what?]
Did something happen? I assumed you would be gone by now.
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: )
fuckin WOW
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